The Thoughts of Cory LaViska

When you sign up for online classes, you do so via the Internet. That means there are no registration lines and no bitchy ladies telling you the registration form hasn’t been filled out properly. There are no physical classrooms to show up late to, which means there are no boring lectures that you can fall asleep to. Exams are administered online, which means you can take them bare-assed at two in the morning while listening to Queen. Online classes are schweet!

There is, however, one thing that I really hate about them: the obligatory message board. This is where you answer questions to assignments and respond to classmates about what you’re learning in the course. This sucks because part of your grade usually relies on responding to these people, whom you’ve never met, don’t care to meet, and won’t ever talk to again unless, of course, you're afforded the luxury of seeing them in future online classes. You lucky dog.

Let’s think about this. There are three reasons why I take courses online:

• I can “attend” class whenever I want
• I can, for the most part, work at my own pace
• I generally don’t like associating with the people in my class

Perhaps if conversations on the message board were more meaningful than “Great job, Larry! Your post was really insightful” and “Thanks for pointing that out, Cathy, I didn’t think of that before”, I would be more apt to participate. I don’t think I’ve ever finished reading one of these posts without my IQ dipping into the negatives for at least a moment.

I know that’s a pretty mean thing to say, but everyone else in the class has to feel the same way; otherwise there would be more effort and meaning put into their responses.

There’s been a lot of speculation about the quality of single, college-aged girls in the Melbourne area. My hypothesis is simple: most of the good ones go out of town for college while the “less than desirables” stick around, making the dating scene a rough, contaminated quagmire for guys like me. To qualify my deduction, here are some real quotes from first-dates I’ve been on:

• “My ex-boyfriend drives a truck, too!”
• “Do you want to see my tattoo?”
• “I hate answering phones all day [at work].”
• “ You can make a lot of money being a massage therapist.”
• “That’s my mom calling.” x 5
• “We were pretty drunk that night.”
• “ I’m trying to find a daddy for [my two year-old].”

(I really wish I were making these up.)

As a result, here are some thoughts that often occur during my first-dates:

• “If she says Wal-mart one more time...”
• “Just tell her you’re not feeling good.”
• “I’m closing that goddamn MySpace account when I get home.”
• “She looks confused. Quick, talk about Wal-mart again!”
• “What the hell is she wearing”
• “Is it rude to get up and leave right now?”

This is, without a doubt, the most depressing thing about living on “The Space Coast”, and I encourage any girl in Brevard County to prove me wrong about this. Please.

When an organization causes feelings of negativity, people handle it in a number of different ways. Detachment is the one we’re going to focus on right now. Obviously, this is bad for both the organization and the individual, but the process of detachment is popular because it works really well in the short term. By detaching, a person is able to cope with extremes that would otherwise trigger intense reactions which are not only inappropriate, but devastating to their position and their reputation. Ignorance, stupidity, and incompetence are all excellent examples of these extremes.

Something I’ve come to realize is that this happens to me on a daily basis.

Where I used to fight the good fight, argue my points because they made sense, and pursue a greater good with the hopes that one day I’ll achieve something special—something to be proud of—I no longer find myself having the energy or will to pursue those aspirations. The fun stops, anticipation fades, and life begins to suck for eight hours a day. The job I used to love becomes a job that I despise. Waking up in the morning gets a lot harder. Things that make me think of work get blocked out of my mind and forgotten until I’m forced to think about them again. This is stupid.

Detachment is interesting because it can have very comedic side effects. Sarcasm is my personal favorite, but pushing people’s buttons is definitely the most satisfying way to fuel detachment. Your supervisor and the people that irritate you become your primary victims. You find ways to make things harder for them, going out of your way to ensure that they feel the full wrath of your efforts. It’s humorous because they seldom realize what you’re doing, and if they do they are oblivious to what’s causing it. If anyone asks you if there’s a problem, “of course there isn’t.”

I am merely a product of my environment. Without the environment, the “negativity issues” don’t exist. Add the environment back in, enter issues. There is a correlation here.

For reasons I can’t seem to understand, people expect the problem to be solved from the bottom up, but the problem really needs to be handled from the top down. On the lowest levels, people are generally happy. In a civilized environment, they are even respectful of meaningful policies and activities. It is only when nonsensical matters are introduced that people begin second-guessing authority.

For example, a policy enforcing a business casual dress code in the work environment is generally accepted. It makes sense. On the other hand, a program to reduce the amount of negativity in the work place is generally criticized...a lot. Why? Because people don’t feel that they are the cause, so why should they be part of the solution? In their opinion, it is entirely meaningless. Here’s where things split.

Some people will argue that it’s better to give in and go with the flow—that by being more positive their environment will follow suit. I, on the other hand, tend to argue that, if I am a product of my environment, it is my environment that needs to become more positive. In turn, that positivity will reflect in me. Is the glass half full or half empty?

When you put out a fire, it’s more effective to point the hose at the base of the flame. Spraying the tips will do nothing more than waste water. The point being that, although employees comprise the foundation of an organization, they are not always responsible for the problems that cause them to be negative. So why point the hose at them?

Here are some things I know to be true:

• People are, by nature, selfish creatures
• People don’t like to admit their own faults
• People love to point fingers

With this short list, I can visualize so many reasons why the relationship between those responsible for doing and those responsible for getting it done almost always results in a negative environment. We have to be bigger and better than that to make a system like this work. We have to learn to trust the people we work with and have faith that they are capable of doing their jobs and doing them well. We have to admit when we are wrong and learn from them instead of trying to cover up our mistakes. We need to stop blaming everyone whenever we fail at something. We need to stop thinking only about ourselves, and more about the common goal we share as an organization. We should be proud to be working together, and proud of the result.

When we don’t do this, our environment suffers. Distrust fills the air. The little things start bothering us left and right. Negativity flourishes. Yes, it comes from people, but not from a single individual. (Most of them have already detached themselves in an effort to survive.) Focus on the organization and it’s processes and you will find the base of your negativity. Only then will productivity and positivity be truly successful.

Ever since gas hit three dollars a gallon, I’ve been championing higher fuel prices as much as possible. Most people get pissy when I tell them that the primary reason I want gas prices to go higher is because “it will keep all the lowlifes off the road”. In fact, there are a multitude of reasons that higher gas prices will make things better for everyone in America.

First off, it will keep a lot of the lowlifes off the road, but it will also make people think twice before they drive somewhere. I used to see people from my neighborhood drive to the community mailbox almost daily. In the past few months, I can honestly say there have been more people walking. Little things like this, multiplied by every neighborhood in the United States, can create a huge, positive impact on energy conservation.

Another great side effect of higher gas prices is less pollution. If people are driving less, their cars aren’t out there blowing smoke into the atmosphere. Simple. There have also been reports of less traffic accidents and fewer people clogging up the highways on the holidays. Additionally, mass transit use is at a 50 year high. All in all, higher gas prices are slowly breaking a bad habit we’ve had ever since motor vehicles became a common commodity. As many people are finally realizing, sometimes, you just don’t need to drive.

In no way do I miss two dollar gasoline. If I had to pick a fuel-related topic to complain about right now, it would be all of the people who are bitching about high gas prices. Four dollars a gallon is still cheaper than most countries in Europe. If you really don’t like it, move to Venezuela.

I used to hate when people would call my phone and leave a voicemail message telling me to call them. First off, I know you called. It said so when I pressed 'ignore'. Second, it's kind of a no-brainer that, when someone calls, you call them back. Lastly, I really don't care anymore anyways because I have Visual Voicemail, which means I can delete your message without even having to hear it. So go ahead, leave a message. It's not my time you're wasting. (Note: rant does not apply to informative, interesting, or otherwise useful messages.)